You Belong Here

Stretch

It’s no secret that the past year has been a trying time for many people for multiple reasons. From the massacre of innocent civilians in Gaza, constant fears about stable employment, and political upheaval to deep divisions across cultures and society, people are feeling the strain.

I have been seeing a trend across different groups of individuals that has been causing me to worry. As a global society, we are particularly divided across political and social lines. Too often, I see these disagreements and divisions turn into vitriolic words, actions, and mistreatment of others—both online and in the real world. It pains me to see this because this mistreatment of one another only further deepens the different wounds we are all tending to.

I also can’t help but think that sometimes we operate this way in the absence of a better solution. I don’t believe that I have all the answers to how we can treat each other with humanity, but I do think it’s worth exploring some simple ways we can foster greater empathy, kindness, and respect.

As we are heading into what is bound to be a turbulent week here in the United States next week, I’d like to offer a few suggestions on how we can navigate these turbulent times together, rather than divided.

Before we dive in, I want to note that some viewpoints are rooted in violence and oppression. If you are engaging with an individual who may potentially inflict greater harm on you, protect yourself first and walk away.

Start with active listening and empathy

It’s OK to disagree with another person’s point of view, but that doesn’t mean that respectful conversation is off the table. Give the person your full attention, listening to understand their perspective rather than waiting to respond (many of us are guilty of this habit). Even a simple nod or verbal cue can show that you’re listening, which helps people feel heard and seen.

Ask open-ended questions

Invite someone with a differing viewpoint to share more about their perspective by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions. It shows you’re genuinely interested and gives you a better understanding of where they’re coming from. Some questions you can ask are, “What makes you feel that way?” or “Can you help me understand more about your perspective?” This encourages dialogue vs. debate.

Express your perspective respectfully

I have never regretted using an “I” statement in conversations where I want to express a contrarian viewpoint to another. For example, “I feel differently because…” or “From my experience, I see it as…” can affirm the other person without pushing for consensus. One of the central tenets of inclusion is welcoming differing viewpoints and when the dialogue is respectful, it can lead to opportunities to learn from one another.

Reflect on your own biases

We all have biases, some more damaging than others. It’s important to practice self-awareness and reflection by considering what biases you may be bringing into a conversation. Practicing self-awareness and humility can make it easier to stay open-minded and focused on inclusion rather than “winning” an argument.

Are there other things you would add to help foster more community-oriented dialogue between people? Feel free to share in the comments.

Reflect

1. How open am I to viewpoints that challenge my beliefs? What emotions arise when I encounter these perspectives?

2. In what ways do I actively include others in conversations, decision-making, or activities? Are there ways I can do more?

3. How comfortable am I with change and growth in my understanding of others?

4. What values drive my commitment to inclusion, and how do they show up in my daily actions?

Act

1. Approach a conversation when you disagree with someone with a mindset of learning. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about your viewpoint?” or “What experiences have shaped your beliefs on this?”

2. Look for shared values or goals, even if you disagree with another person on the details. For example, both of you might care about fairness, community, or growth, even if you see different paths to achieving these.

3. Be mindful of your words when engaging with a person you disagree with. Choose language that respects all perspectives without dismissing or belittling others.

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