Repairing Harm

How does an effective ally do it?

One of the most common fears I hear from aspiring allies and accomplices is the fear of making mistakes. But here’s the thing: mistakes are inevitable in allyship, especially when engaging with issues of race and identity.

What sets effective allies apart isn’t perfection—it’s their willingness to own their mistakes, repair the harm, and grow from the experience. The best allies and accomplices I’ve had in my own life took those risks, recognizing that their access to power and privilege allowed them to navigate challenges I could never avoid.

So, what happens when that dreaded moment arrives? The day you’ve genuinely tried your best, only to hear from a friend, colleague, or community member that your effort didn’t land as intended?

First, know that you’re not alone. Mistakes happen to all of us. What matters most is what you do next. Repairing harm—whether harm was intentional or not—is the most critical step you can take at that moment.

Here’s how you can approach it:

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