You Belong Here

Stretch

This week has been hard for many of us. Many of us thought we were moving toward progress, acceptance, and inclusion. Instead, we got a stark rebuke from a country willing to prioritize policies of self-interest over the humanity and safety of its citizens. I won’t lie: I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions, from anger to sadness to wondering if I even know this country anymore. It’s a terrible place to be. Now, as I look at my neighbors and community members—people I’ve known for years—I wonder if they’ve truly been honest about how they feel about me or people who look like me or unlike me. And I’m scared. Raising two brown girls in a world where people cheer for someone who openly despises those who aren’t like him is a challenge I never thought I’d have to face, at least not this soon. My heart is shattering.

If you subscribe to this newsletter, I’m pretty sure you’re someone open to hearing about the experiences of those who are marginalized, oppressed, or otherwise pushed to the edges of society. I am not alone in how I feel this week. Many people are questioning if their future will even be here in the United States. I’ve also seen the rise of performative gestures from white women—like the “blue bracelet” trend on TikTok—which offers no real safety when people are harassing us in public, trying to run us off the road, or advocating for deportation of those we love.

As a DEI practitioner, I reflect on why people would vote for someone who holds such intolerant and even fascist views. So far, I’ve come up with three reasons:

1. Economic Interests: Many people voted for Trump based on promises to reduce inflation, increase job opportunities, stabilize the stock market, and close international conflicts. These voters have chosen to prioritize their pocketbooks over the human rights and dignity of their fellow citizens.

2. Fear of Loss of Power: Many white people feel a growing anxiety about what they perceive as a loss of power, privilege, and status in the social hierarchy. They fear that if they aren’t in control, they’re nothing.

3. Proximity to Whiteness: I see this particularly among people of color, including members of my own South Asian community, who voted against their interests. Many seem to believe that supporting policies popular among white people will lead to acceptance from that group. In my experience, this is nothing more than an illogical fallacy.

Thinking through these reasons raises questions for me. A central part of who I am, both as a person and as a practitioner, is that when I see others hurting, suffering, or being treated with indignity, my first instinct isn’t to think about what I might gain from their situation. It’s to ask, “How can I help?” This election has made me question how many people would feel that same empathy if I were hurting.

By nature, I tend to be optimistic and believe in people’s innate goodness. This week has tested that belief, but I still feel that most people want to do what’s right, even if they don’t always know how. They might not know what to say, how to show they care, or how to help create a world that treats everyone with kindness and inclusion. So, I’d like to make a few suggestions:

1. Build Your Community with Intention: Surround yourself with people who share your values. For instance, if someone is okay with another person being deported simply because of their nationality, that’s not someone I’d build into my community.

2. Use Your Privilege to Challenge Hate: Hate thrives when it goes unchallenged. As we approach the holiday season, ask yourself if you have the skills to be an upstander rather than a bystander. If you don’t, I encourage you to learn. Much of the work in social justice has historically been placed on those who are oppressed. In this new administration, that won’t be enough. Allies and accomplices are essential. If you’re not sure where to start, start with me—that’s why I created the Active Allies program.

3. Avoid Performative Allyship: We don’t need blue bracelets to signal solidarity. We need you to actively engage with social justice organizations, protecting those in your community who’ll be most affected by the coming policies, and advocating against measures that will reshape our country irreparably.

Are these all the answers? Absolutely not. But it’s a start. If you’re part of this newsletter community, I know you care about people. I know you’re capable of doing hard things. And I know that, if we work together through this time, we’ll come out stronger and better connected, ready to build a society we want to pass on to our children.

Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing a resource roundup in Community Leaders for those who want to take action in supporting their communities. If you haven’t already subscribed to Community Leaders, now is the time.

I’ll see you next week.

Always,
Jaya

Reflect

1. When have I prioritized my own comfort or security over the well-being of others? How did I feel about that decision?

2. How do I react when friends or family members express views that are harmful or discriminatory? What might I do differently moving forward?

3. What kind of world do I want future generations to inherit, and how can my actions now contribute to that vision?

Act

1. Evaluate Your Circle: Reflect on the values of people in your social circle. Engage in conversations with friends and family to better understand their beliefs around inclusion, and prioritize relationships with those who share your commitment to equity.

2. Engage in Difficult Conversations: When friends or family members express harmful views, respond with empathy but be firm in sharing your own values. Explain why their statements are problematic and harmful.

3. Use Social Media for Advocacy: Instead of performative gestures, share educational content, advocate for equity-focused initiatives, and amplify the voices of marginalized groups.

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